Who's Fantasizing About What?

Even if you’d never admit it, you probably indulge in a sexual fantasy from time to time. Our brains play such a big part in getting us turned on and sexual fantasies are a “normal” part of our sexuality that can help us explore what we really want in bed, all from the safety and privacy of our own minds.

But since we don’t really talk about our sexual fantasies to other people, most of us are pretty curious about them. We want to know who has them and what other people think about and want and now there’s a book that answers all that for us.

Social psychologist Justin Lehmiller quizzed over 4,000 people between the ages of 18 and 87 about their sexual histories, sexual fantasies, and personalities to give us insight into their sex lives. His book, “Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Improve Your Sex Life,” reveals what’s going on between the sheets and how our personalities affect where we let our minds wander. Here are some fun facts he found:

  • Most people have sexual fantasies — a lot - Almost everyone surveyed (97%) admitted having sexual fantasies and most had them often, between a few times a week and a few times a day.
  • Your fantasies most likely fit into one of these themes - Most fantasies follow into one of these categories: multi-partner sex, power, control or rough sex (like bondage), novelty, adventure, and variety. Less common fantasies include taboo and forbidden sex, non-monogamy, passion and romance, erotic flexibility.
  • If you’re an introvert vs. extrovert - Extroverts are more likely to fantasize about group sex and they’re more likely to be praised for their sexual performance in their fantasies. Introverts are more likely to fantasize about intimacy and passion.
  • If you’re “detail-conscious” - These folks are more likely to plan more elaborate fantasies.
  • Women are more likely to fantasize about rough sex - The survey found women daydream more about S&M than men.
  • Men are more likely to focus on a specific person - At least in their fantasies.
  • The surprising group most likely to fantasize about group sex -Older people are more likely to imagine threesomes than younger people, believe it or not.

Source: New York Post

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