If you ever want to feel better about your existence, a quick visit to Reddit might just do the trick. There you find topics such as, “Sexual Mishaps That Landed People In The Emergency Room.” And we’re betting you’ll realize how fortunate you truly are…consider these gems:
- Bent In Half – It’s the worst-case scenario in any woman-on-top encounter. She landed wrong, and forcefully. As a result, the poor guy’s unit was “basically folded in two.” What was worse than the purple-colored soft-tissue damage and 4-6 weeks of inactivity was the fact that he was still on his father’s insurance…so he knew everything.
- That’s Not Lube – While receiving some hand-love from his girlfriend, a guy started to smell something “chemically.” It turns out, the great-feeling substance was really an industrial-strength soap he’d been testing out through his time in medical school. That led to two days of skin chunking off, and two weeks of burning.
- Not Sexy Shower Time – Shower sex is always overrated. If she’s not hogging all the hot water and leaving you with a shriveled winkie…you’re slipping in the shower and breaking your tail bone.
- The 6-8 Hour Woody – You know those commercials that tell you to see a doc if your erection lasts more than four hours? As great as it sounds, it’s no joke. It’s purple and painful and requires a long needle to stick-in and drain it. Fun.
- The Involuntary Bite Down – Slightly more than a paper cut, and a lot more blood. The poor guy who got his “massive artery” invaded ended up needing a transfusion. Seriously.