With the highly publicized solar eclipse starting this morning, it's a good time to check out The Top Surprising Facts About the Solar Eclipse.
The centerline crosses through 10 states, which is more than Hillary Clinton campaigned in.
Almost 2% of the people counting down to it have had sex. Surprising, right?
It only happens every few decades . . . like job opportunities for Erik Estrada.
As their surroundings slowly dim, Bill Cosby's dates will experience déjà vu.
Yes, you look stupid in those eclipse glasses.
It'll be the most-watched event this week that doesn't contain dragons, naked breasts, or Mark Harmon.
It will last roughly two minutes. Like you in bed. Plus a minute.
It will begin in Oregon, and by the time it leaves it will have formed an indie rock band.
White supremacists will protest the sun this afternoon for being black.
Though it will be brief, you'll remember for a lifetime. Kidding. You'll forget it by this afternoon's third beer.
People who stare at it could be left with permanent eye damage. But it's not all bad news as they could then get hired as an NFL referee.
People once thought the end of time was brought on by an eclipse. Whereas my grandfather thinks the end of time will be brought on by interracial marriage.
Singing Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" while it's happening will make you the most hated person at the eclipse viewing party.
If you needed to be told it's dangerous to look directly at the sun, you should probably keep that to yourself.
It's best viewed live, but don't sweat it if you can't. It'll be on Netflix eventually.
It gets about 28 miles-per-gallon on the highway. Sorry, that's a surprising fact about the MITSUBISHI Eclipse.