This list made me feel old

posted by Aaron Zytle - 

This year's college freshmen were mostly born in 1999.  That means they barely know any phones except smartphones . . . they've never known a world where they couldn't order anything they needed from Amazon . . . and they only know Justin Timberlake as a solo artist. Plus all this stuff...

  • Their classmates could include Eddie Murphy’s Zola and Mel Gibson’s Tommy, or Jackie Evancho singing down the hall.
  • They are the last class to be born in the 1900s, the last of the Millennials --  enter next year, on cue, Generation Z! 
  • They are the first generation for whom a “phone” has been primarily a video game, direction finder, electronic telegraph, and research library.
  • Electronic signatures have always been as legally binding as the pen-on-paper kind.
  • In college, they will often think of themselves as consumers, who’ve borrowed a lot of money to be there.
  • eHarmony has always offered an algorithm for happiness.
  • Peanuts comic strips have always been repeats.
  • They have largely grown up in a floppy-less world.
  • They have never found Mutual Broadcasting or Westinghouse Group W on the radio dial, but XM has always offered radio programming for a fee.
  • There have always been emojis to cheer us up.
  • The Panama Canal has always belonged to Panama and Macau has been part of China.
  • It is doubtful that they have ever used or heard the high-pitched whine of a dial-up modem.
  • They were never able to use a Montgomery Ward catalogue as a booster seat.
  • Donald Trump has always been a political figure, as a Democrat, an Independent, and a Republican.
  • Zappos has always meant shoes on the Internet.
  • They are the first generation to grow up with Watson outperforming Sherlock.  
  • Amazon has always invited consumers to follow the arrow from A to Z.
  • Their folks have always been able to get reward points by paying their taxes to the IRS on plastic.
  • In their lifetimes, Blackberry has gone from being a wild fruit to being a communications device to becoming a wild fruit again. 
  • They have always been searching for Pokemon.
  • They may choose to submit a listicle in lieu of an admissions essay.    
  • Dora the Explorer and her pet monkey Boots helped to set them on the course of discovery.
  • The seat of Germany’s government has always been back in Berlin.
  • Jet Blue has always been a favorite travel option but the Concorde has been permanently grounded.
  • By the time they entered school, laptops were outselling desktops.
  • There has never been a Coliseum in New York, but there has always been a London Eye on the Thames.
  • Once on campus, they will find that college syllabi, replete with policies about disability, non-discrimination, and learning goals, might be longer than some of their reading assignments.
  • As toddlers they may have dined on some of that canned food hoarded in case of Y2K.
  • An ophthalmologist named Bashar al-Assad has always provided vision for the Syrian military.
  • Whatever the subject, there’s always been a blog for it.                         
  • U.S. Supreme Court decisions have always been available at its website.
  • Globalization has always been both a powerful fact of life and a source of incessant protest.
  • One out of four major league baseball players has always been born outside the United States.
  • Carl Sagan has always had his own crater on Mars. 
  • A movie scene longer than two minutes has always seemed like an eternity. 
  • The Latin music industry has always had its own Grammy Awards.
  • Ketchup has always come in green.
  • They have only seen a Checker Cab in a museum.
  • Men have always shared a romantic smooch on television.
  • They never got to see Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Stein co-host a quiz show or Dennis Miller provide commentary for the NFL.
  • As toddlers, they may have taught their grandparents how to Skype.
  • The image of Sacagawea has always adorned the dollar coin, if you can find one.
  • Having another child has always been a way to secure matching tissue to heal an older sibling.
  • There have always been Latino players on the ice in the NHL.
  • Napster has always been evolving.
  • Nolan Ryan has always worn his Texas Rangers cap in Cooperstown, while Steve Young and Dan Marino have always been watching football from the sidelines.
  • The BBC has always had a network in the U.S. where they speak American.
  • There has never been a sanctioned Texas A&M bonfire.
  • There has always been a Monster in their corner when looking for a job.
  • Wikipedia has steadily gained acceptance by their teachers.
  • Justin Timberlake has always been a solo act.
  • U.S. professional baseball teams have always played in Cuba.
  • Barbie and American Girl have always been sisters at Mattel.
  • Family Guy is the successor to the Father Knows Best they never knew.
  • Motorola and Nokia have always been incredibly shrinking giants.
  • Melissa has always been too nice a name to be attached to a computer macro virus.
  • The Mars Polar Lander has always been lost.
  • Women have always scaled both sides of Everest and rowed across the Atlantic.
  • Bill Clinton has always been Hillary Clinton’s aging husband.
  • Paleontologists have always imagined dinosaurs with colorful plumage.


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