The Top Surprising Revelations about Tom Brady

Anthony Scaramucci claims Tom Brady once dated Ivanka Trump before he married Gisele.  So add that to the list of The Top Surprising Revelations about Tom Brady.

 If you ask him if he's the greatest of all time, he just shrugs . . . and points to his "Greatest of All Time" coffee mug.

His side hustle is curing vaginal dryness.

 His teeth are so white and pretty because angels descend from Heaven twice a day and rub their butts on them.

He can get out of a speeding ticket by showing a male cop his chest.

 After football, he wants to get into broadcasting.  Like Terry Bradshaw.  Minus the mental disabilities.

 He's still experiencing trauma from that one time he couldn't get his hair to lay right.

 He wants to play until he's 45.  Because Gisele might be hot.  But she's also REALLY annoying.

 He refers to his nads as "The Brady Bunch."

 Somehow football fans still respect him despite the fact he endorses a brand of fur-lined girl-boots.

 For the right price, he's willing to sell one of his Super Bowl rings to Tony Romo.

He sometimes gets visibly aroused when he puts his hands under the center for a long snap count.

 He once "took a knee" to protest players with bad hair.

 He actually spends the week folded up inside Bill Belichick's wallet, and only comes out for games.

 Telling Patriots fans that he's overrated is a fun way to get a pint of Guinness smashed across your forehead.

 His poops smell like fresh-cut lilacs.

 He can't pronounce his wife's last name either.

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