The Top Reasons You Won't Watch the World Series

posted by Aaron Zytle -

The World Series between the L.A. Dodgers and the Houston Astros begins tonight.  Find out why you couldn't care less with The Top Reasons You Won't Watch the World Series.

 It's upsetting to watch Justin Verlander, knowing that he's the ONLY reason you're not dating Kate Upton.

 You fear Justin Turner's beard is going to come through the TV screen and strangle you.

 There's not enough kneeling during the national anthem.

 You get your fill of watching high school dropouts chew tobacco and adjust their junk during brunch with your in-laws.

 You're Donald Trump.  And watching "dodgers" brings back memories of what you did during the Vietnam War.

You don't need help falling asleep.  Thanks, scotch!

 You bet Pete Rose that you wouldn't watch baseball until he got into the Hall of Fame.

 The only person you want to see swinging a bat is Negan on "The Walking Dead".

 You're a sexual harassment lawyer in Hollywood and your phone won't stop ringing.

 Unlike football, there's no field goal-kicking mule.

 You don't have the two hours free to watch one hitter adjust his batting gloves.

 You're still salty about the Dodgers leaving Brooklyn.

 Bob Costas may be on camera and you have a serious phobia of dwarves who use way too much hair dye.

 Every time you see white lines on your TV, you can't stop yourself from snorting the screen.

 If you want to watch Latinos hit something with a stick, you'll hoist a Trump piƱata.

 No zombies?  Not interested.

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