Interesting Facts About Vampires

posted by Aaron Zytle - 

 Tomorrow is Halloween, so it's a good time for this list of The Top Interesting Facts About Vampires.

 Dracula isn't really the best vampire, he just has the best publicist.

 There are two or three ways they can be killed . . . which makes them more vulnerable than Keith Richards.

 They spend their days in a dead-eyed, emotionally lifeless state called "marriage."

 They've been petitioning Olive Garden for years to take the garlic out of their breadsticks.

 Don't let the popped collar fool you.  They're not all d-bags.

 They dissolve in direct sunlight . . . like half the women in L.A.

 Since they wear capes and use product in their hair, Mike Pence is more than a little wary of them.

 They can suck the life out of you quicker than an episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians".

 Once they bite the inside of their mouth, it's REALLY hard to avoid biting it again.

The ones that have caskets made out of pine never fail to use a "morning wood" joke.

 Despite all appearances to the contrary, Johnny Depp is NOT one of them.

 They don't cast a reflection . . . and yet somehow their hair is always perfect.

 They can turn into other fearsome creatures, like a bat, a wolf, or a Hollywood movie producer.

 Blood is preferred, but in a pinch, they'll settle for Red Bull.

 A group of them just sued the Cleveland Browns for copyright infringement because they "suck" so badly.

 They can be warded off by garlic, the cross, or by blasting some Justin Bieber songs.

 They sleep all day and stay up all night, and yet they're not college students.

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