With Thanksgiving just about here, it's a good time for this list of The Top Cool Facts About Turkeys.
They call that thing that dangles from their chin, "Donald Trump Necks."
While not known for their intelligence, they're smarter than the average Walmart shopper.
Benjamin Franklin was going to fight for making them our national bird. But then got distracted by prostitutes.
They can fly, but they don't do it often . . . because they hate paying bag check fees.
Wild ones help me cope with the misery of an unfulfilling career and toxic home life. Or are we not talking about bourbon?
They spend their spare time trying to raise money for groups promoting the benefits of a vegan lifestyle.
President Trump won't be pardoning one this year . . . there are too many people in line.
A group of turkeys can be called a "posse." Especially if one of those turkeys has a rap album.
Just the sight of croutons is enough to induce a panic attack.
They're mostly white meat. But dark where it counts . . . ladies.
They were first domesticated in Mexico, which explains why for Thanksgiving President Trump is having steak.
They're faster than you think they are. Unless you think they're fast. Then they're as fast as you think they are. And hey, congrats for knowing so much about turkeys!
Their least favorite Disney movie? "Frozen".
If you ever found it sexually fulfilling to stuff one, you have issues.
President Trump already pardoned one recently when he let Sheriff Joe walk.
When THEY break a wishbone, they automatically get their wish.
They can do an awesome Mitch McConnell impression.